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Today is the fourth day of Saturnalia–and, strangely enough, it’s the one day that doesn’t really have any other major significance within Roman practice, nor does it have any Ekklesía Antínoou Sancti associated with it, nor any Neos Alexandria holy-days (other than the continuation of Heliogenna). It’s the mid-point of the seven-day celebration, so perhaps we’re due a bit of a break on this day…Or, perhaps not. Here’s my post on it from last year, in any case.

Tomorrow is a completely packed day, with loads of significances, and so, in honor of the fact that today doesn’t have much going for it, I’ve slid over one of the minor festivals for tomorrow into the order of the song-verses for the day for my Saturnalia song, and thus I’d like to give you that before anything.

Saturnalia Song, Day Four

I’ll sing you this day–
Ave Antinoe!

What sing you this day?
Ave Ave Antinoe
Haec est unde vita venit!

I’ll sing this fourth day–
Ave Antinoe!

What’s sung this fourth day?
Ave Hercules Victor Deorum
Ave Ops Mater Abundantia
Ave Epona, Mater Equorum
Ave Saturne, Rex Sacrorum
Ave Ave Antinoe
Haec est unde vita venit!

*****

There are other holidays going on at this time of year: Chanukkah, for one. A dear friend of mine posted this lovely photo of her menorah on this first night of Chanukkah, and I hope that she doesn’t mind my using it here. (And in the category of “Who knew?” the Irish are fond of menorahs as Christmas decor–!?!) Some of my relatives are celebrating Chanukkah right now as well. Facing facts, I’ll never be in a SteamPunk klezmer band, but that doesn’t mean one can’t dream…If I were in a SteamPunk klezmer band, then the song we’d be playing on this night, for all the Jewish SteamPunk mad scientists, is the following one, which I wrote in late 2008:

I have a steamy dreidl,
I made it from a gear,
with brass and copper fittings,
and clicking you can hear!

Oh steamy steamy dreidl,
You’re made out of some cogs,
you glitter bright and shiny
and clear out drainage clogs!

I’ll spin my steamy dreidl
and win some gelt, you see–
then build my steamy golem
and rule the world…Hee, hee!

Perhaps I missed my calling…?!?

*****

And, apparently, at this time of year, there are also other holidays. Yeah, I know–who knew? Of course, foremost among these is the Wookiee “Life-Day” (that I’m apparently over a month late on this year!), which you can see celebrated in the photo above (“With Yoda caroling, frustrating it is…”), but I guess there are some other ones as well, of more recent vintage. And, some of the people who celebrate those aren’t very informed on the histories involved with them, nor in the current realities surrounding their supposed implications. Foremost of these is this blogger at Patheos, on whom more in a moment. (As a side-note, the recent article I wrote at Patheos.com’s Pagan Portal on “The Christian Persecution Complex” has been getting a lot of hits recently…) There have been a few pagan responses to this, including one by Star Foster and another by Helio Pires; and, there was the article from a while back that inspired my own recent article, by K. C. Hulsman. Some more enlightened members of this upstart religion have made their own responses, including Dr. James F. McGrath, both last year and more recently.

You might wonder why I speak in this way about people of that religion. Well, they are very recent upstarts. The longest-standing practices that some of them observe date back no further than 1600 years–a full two centuries (and more) less time than the cultus of Antinous; and even then, there have been multiple revisions and changes to their practices, as recent as the 1960s in some cases. But, many can’t even boast of that much history: the majority are less than 500 years old, and some considerably younger than that. And they always inflate their numbers by saying there are over a billion of them. What they fail to appreciate it that it doesn’t matter how many of “them” there are, but that there are still more of us who aren’t of their religion than them–around six billion of us, in fact. If only one in seven people are of that religion as far as the entire worldwide population is concerned, I don’t think that’s anything to boast about, or to suggest that somehow they’ve “won” through sheer force of numbers, because they clearly haven’t, and very likely never will, if they’ve had more than a millennium of conquest, subjugation, and tyranny to impose their singular religion on people all over the world, and have not yet succeeded. So, of that I have no worries–particularly when they continue to do what a good friend of mine calls the “sore loser” argument (which I can elaborate, if you’re interested) constantly, but instead cite it as a strength. No, not all members of that religion act in such ways, but there is a vocal minority of them that do, and that make their co-religionists look very bad indeed by doing so.

Thus, in honor of this, and in the spirit of Saturnalia, I’d like to crown this year’s 2011 King of Fools. As you know, in Roman Saturnalia practice, slaves were often served by their masters and crowned king for a short while, to remember the “golden age” of Saturn before social distinctions and such. It was a silly time, and a time in which being nonsensical was the rule (and ruler!) of the day more than anything logical or sensible. So, I would like to honor the most recently vocal of the slaves–those who are utterly enthralled in the chains of a deity that they have demeaned and misunderstood constantly for centuries–as this year’s King of Saturnalia, for treating all of us to the most ingenious and well-crafted farce of reversals and a brilliant celebration of satirical nonsense in the best spirit of this season, giving us a chance to laugh at ourselves while also laughing at him and the parody of his religion that he so skillfully and deliberately crafted: Dr. Michael Bird! Though your reign be short, may we always remember the laughs and the silliness you’ve brought into our lives in this cold and dark time of year!

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