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Today is the festival of Ptah Protecting the Winged Solar Disc, both here and in Neos Alexandria, which I wrote about last year. While I did write a post on the syncretism of Agathos Daimon and Antinous (which later went into The Syncretisms of Antinous), I did not write a post proper last year on the significance of this day, so I’d like to do that today–even if only briefly.

According to Roman custom, there was a festival in honor of the foundation of Alexandria today, the 23rd of January. The Agathos Daimon was very much connected to the foundation of Alexandria by Alexander the Great, as illustrated by these excerpts from Arrian’s Anabasis Alexandri and from the Alexander Romance. (For that matter, I’d highly recommend looking at the entirety of Neos Alexandria’s Pantheon page on Agathos Daimon!) Given that there is such a connection through Roman practice and observance, it seemed logical to base this observance’s location on it.

Furthermore, Alexandria was important to the cultus of Antinous. Hadrian and Antinous spent a great deal of time there in the year before Antinous’ death, and Hadrian returned there for an extended period after Antinous’ death. It is almost certain that there was a temple of some sort to Antinous in Alexandria. Hadrian’s influence on the city is also very marked. The coin of Antinous showing him as Antinous-Hermes on horseback on the reverse is an Alexandrian issue. Dionysius of Alexandria alluded to Antinous in his poem Periegete by calling him, in an acrostic, “the God Hermes under Hadrian.” So, Antinous’ connection to Alexandria is amply attested, and thus all the more relevant to a Roman-period festival of Alexandria’s foundation being observed in relation to him.

But, further, the Agathos Daimon is not simply a deity in the form of a snake, or with serpentine features of some sort; it was also the individual “soul” or “guardian spirit” of a male person. (I note here the similarity in imagery between the serpent genius often illustrated in Roman shrines to the Lares Familiares.) And, I’d like to take this opportunity to briefly reflect on what that means for Antinous.

Various people over the years–including myself–have connected Antinous to “gayness,” or what I used to call the Numen Homosexualitatis, the “Gay Spirit,” if you like. Some, however, have gone as far as to say that Antinous is THE God of Homosexuality, and to even suggest that somehow there is a part of him in every gay person. I’ve written about this before, including in “Queer I Stand” at Patheos.com’s Pagan Portal. I certainly think that–despite my opposition to notions of essentialist queer identities that have persisted over the centuries–there is an element of queerness that has been a part of many different cultures over the years, and that has shown itself more strongly in particular divine figures honored in different cultures; however, such a deified abstraction has not been recognized independently until more modern times, and it really is a product of a modern sensibility. However, I think the abstraction is the “God of Homosexuality” (if there is such a thing), not any particular deity with a name and attributes and individually identifiable characteristics, stories, or a mythology and history of any kind independent of that queerness. If you like, one might even consider such a Numen Homosexualitatis as one of the Erotes, the group of deities in ancient Greece that included Eros, Anteros, Himeros, Hedone, and others.

Thus, the stories of such a deity have not yet been written–so, if one is interested in pursuing such a notion, the place to look is not in ancient history or religion or mythology, but in one’s own spiritual life and creativity and by the prompting of one’s own artistic Muses. This should be understood as an active encouragement to pursue such notions, not something over which to lament–if you don’t like such a lack, then fill it! Art and myth hate a vacuum as much as nature abhors it!

But, is Antinous “part of us” who are queer? (I won’t address the solipsistic notion that Antinous is only part of those who are gay males–it’s not worth wasting any effort on such a ridiculous notion.) No, I don’t think he is; and, I don’t think that’s any diminishment to him and his power and majesty, nor to us nor our inherent worth and divinity. Antinous is not something about ourselves that we discover as the result of self-reflection or deep soul-searching; the experience of Antinous is not an inner one, at least initially (and sometimes and for some people, it never is…and, there’s nothing wrong with that!). Antinous is not our “true identity” that must be uncovered, and from which we must purge out any other characteristics that are not consonant with whatever notion it is we have of him. He is not someone who can be discovered within ourselves, he is someone that is only discovered when we go out of ourselves, beyond the horizons of our own expectations, fantasies, biases, and individual horizons and limitations. And, it is no diminishment to us to do so.

Just as we may find things about ourselves in self-reflection, self-examination, and self-observation that are upsetting, unexpected, or even negative, so too is it very likely that we will find things about beings external to ourselves–whether those beings are humans or deities–that are challenging, difficult, trying, exasperating, and even wholly objectionable. However, coming into contact with such difficulties is not a bad thing in itself; indeed, such challenges are the only thing that allows us to grow and change. We do have control over how we grow and change as a result of coming into contact with those difficulties–we can choose to move toward a greater integration, towards productivity and positivity, towards compassion and forgiveness, understanding and love for those things that are different or even abhorrent, or we can choose to move toward disintegration, negativity, and resentment towards those things which are different, and to forego any attempts at understanding or empathy with them. (I think you can guess which one I’d personally advocate as the better choice in almost every case!) It’s one of the dangers and splendors of dealing with other people, whether those people are humans or deities. I think of it in terms of chemistry, really. Water can sit and contemplate itself all the livelong day, but at the end of the day, it will still be water, with a bit of hydroxide (HO-) and a bit of hydronium (H3O+) mixed in there with the good old H2O for good measure. But, it only can really change when it comes into contact with external agents, and those chemical shifts and chemical reactions only occur when those types of contacts exist; whether the water simply changes color, or whether it becomes acidic, varies from situation to situation–even the most caustic acids have their uses when certain substances need to be dissolved! Likewise with us and the “spiritual reactions” that occur to foster our own development.

I am, thus, not of the opinion that spirituality is a primarily “internal” phenomenon; to suggest this denies the independent reality of the gods. Yes, internal work of various kinds is useful, and developing our own inner sense of divinity is benefited greatly from such work. But, that isn’t necessarily what polytheist practice entails, even in its most mystical forms, both in the past and in the present. (Indeed, many modern polytheists, including polytheist mystics, may not even agree that humans possess any kind of divinity!) But you will not find Antinous within yourself until he has been introduced there from the outside.

Antinous is a part of the wonderful, beautiful, manifold and pluriform world that we inhabit, and it enriches us to come into contact with that world and the many beings who inhabit it–human, animal, natural, technological, and divine. After engaging with him for a long time in devotion, one may have experiences which indicate that he may have come to have a place in one’s own heart, or soul, or mind, or even one’s guts. I am reminded of some of the earliest inscriptions in identifiable ancient Greek from the island of Thera, in the sanctuary of Apollon where the rituals of the Gymnopaidai (pretty literally, “naked boys”) took place. Many of these inscriptions are homoerotic in content, and speak about the sexual encounters of the different inscribers. One of them, I have translated as “Krimon, best in the dick-dance, has warmed the entrails of Simias.” While “warmed the entrails” carries the meaning of “give pleasure,” it is also quite literal where certain sexual activities are concerned! So, there is no reason that Antinous cannot likewise “warm one’s entrails” when he takes residence in one’s body, soul, and spiritual life after a period of intense and devoted cultus.

So, today, we honor the Agathos Daimon: both as the god who guided Alexander the Great and allowed him to found the great city of Alexandria; and also as that part of each of us–no matter our gender–that is our connection to divinity, and that is the seed-plant of our own potential heroization or deification (at best) or the enduring part of ourselves that survives death and is joined to our ancestors (at worst). And, we honor Antinous as the image of that god and that class of being: as the guiding, swirling serpent that leads us to new foundations and renewal, and that guides us as well to fostering our own inner divinity, not by leading us inward to an internal sanctum of solipsism, disinterest, detached indifference, and independence from the world, but by leading us outward to find solace and space in a world that may seem harsh, foreign, and even dangerous, and yet which is our ultimate, and only, home in the universe.

Khaire Agathe Daimon! Khaire Khaire Antinoe!

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