As The Wild Hunt noted today, it’s International Pagan Coming Out Day, or I.P.C.O.D. This is the second year this has been observed.
It’s a good thing, and I fully support it, even though I’m not totally and fully “out” as a pagan myself.
My immediate supervisor at the current work I do (for which I’m not being paid at present, and technically don’t have any hours on the clock until September) has known about my polytheism since before I got the job, so I’m not worried about him. I have not announced it to the president of the institution, or some of the support staff, because it isn’t any of their business and it hasn’t come up as an issue of concern.
The same is not necessarily true of another place of work that I am in the process of being replaced or phased out on at present…and while I can’t say more about that currently, I am very aware of this being an issue, and because it has direct implications that threaten my livelihood at present, it’s not something very far from my mind. And, the worst part of all this is, they don’t know the half of it…
I have plans in place to more publicly come out about my polytheistic commitments once certain milestones are met, and I’m being pushed in the direction of meeting them more and more in the near future. I hope that by this time next year (or at some stage in 2013), I might be in a better position to be able to not care about this any longer. But, that time isn’t now.
I had a choice, as I’ve said before, to not do any public work on many of these matters (including Antinous and queer polytheistic spirituality) until I was in a better and safer position career-wise and financially/practically, or to do it but under my own terms and not connected with my legal name in favor of acting now. As an ample and enthused Dionysian who loves masks, and a Hermetic who loves using words to both conceal and reveal (amongst other things!), I chose the latter, and I have no doubt I made the right choice.
Some people have criticized me for not using my “real name” in connection with this work, and to them I still have the same answer I have had in the past: fuck you, you have no idea what situation I’m involved with, and don’t even attempt to try and explain (or, rather, ‘splain) why you’re “right” and I’m not to me since no one I currently know of that has these opinions on my situation knows enough about me and about my situation to have even one little toe to stand on in terms of making a useful or productive argument.
Yes, I trust that the world will change eventually and that things will improve as far as the lot of modern pagans is concerned in terms of public discourse; and yes, I’d like to be a part of advancing that cause as much as I can. However, when what amounts to half of my very limited regular income (and by “regular income,” we’re talking about the mid-range of the four-digits in yearly earnings) has just evaporated because I gave an updated C.V., and a person without connections to my particular religion was just given my position in preference to me, my ability to do anything is far more limited at present than I would prefer.
If you want to know how you can help me and support my efforts to actually continue living at the barely subsistence level that I’ve maintained for the past five years, you can buy books by me, or you can sign up for classes with Academia Antinoi.
I wish I had more time for better tidings, but I do not today. I hope everyone is well in their post-Beltaine haze, and I also hope to have more substantive things to say over the next few days in the blog here.