Maxims, Jokes, Koans

How often should one pray to Antinous?
At all times.
How often do you pray to Antinous?
When I rise and when I retire; when I put clothes on and when I take them off; and when I need to.
What prayers do you use to worship Antinous?
Those of my hands and my lips.
What words are in your prayers?
None at all.
Of what does your prayer consist?
Taking up of burdens, recognition of signs, receiving loans and repaying them, and kisses.
How many kisses do you give Antinous each day?
At least fifteen.
Why not fourteen?
That would be too little for a god as great as he.
Why not sixteen, then?
One must not be immoderate in one’s affections.
How many other gods do you worship each day?
At least eight.
Do you worship them before or after Antinous?
Before, and after, and between.
Do you begin at Antinous’ shrine?
And end there.
Do you worship other gods before him?
And return to him after.
How would you best describe Antinous in a nutshell?
There are not enough words in Greek, Latin, Egyptian, Thracian, Irish, and English to begin doing such a description justice.
Then how can you describe his experience?
If one has experienced Antinous, no words are necessary.
Your words are deceitful, and you’re an asshole.
Thanks for stopping by!