Posted by: aediculaantinoi | April 23, 2014

The Communal Hymn, Part II: Less Formal…

As I explained in my last entry, this one is likewise going to be a communal hymn, but instead of being highly metered, tightly rhymed, and heavily structured, this one is going to be more free-form, and specifically free-verse.

[That having been said, "free-verse" doesn't mean "free-for-all," necessarily!]

The rules here are that you must write at least two lines, but you should write no more than eight before giving someone else a chance.

And, as inspiration here, let’s use this image of Antinous, which we haven’t seen for a while:

As with the last one, I’ll get this one started…and, we’ll also give it a title later on, once we find out what it’s about.

Dancing bands of worshippers gather,
surrounding the tables well laid with foods
pleasing to the gods and to the senses of mortals,
for what the god has poured out for them exceeds
what they give him here, though joyously given,
and more than enough to show their thanks
to Antinous, the lovely god, beloved
of so many gods and heroes, divinities and rulers


Responses

  1. *koff* I have taken a stab at this….

    Beloved Antinous, known in this season
    as Lover of beauty and goodness, Lover
    of gods and mortals, elicits petitions
    with provocative questions: “What do you most love?
    That will I give you, to that goal I’ll guide you,
    but you must speak your desires, know what you want.”

  2. When I looked at my verse again this morning, I realized I was counting the syllables as if writing the terza rima version, and that I wanted a longer line. So if I may, I am submitting a revised version:

    Lovely Antinous, known in this season as Lover
    of beauty and goodness, of gods and mortals,
    presides at the feast and pours the best wine,
    welcoming those who come with petitions:
    “What do you most love? That will I give,
    to that will I guide you, if you speak your desire.”

  3. He knows the languages of desire well,
    of want, of heart’s wishes, of unfulfilled needs,
    for he learned them well at the knee of masters:


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