This evening, I went to the first same-sex wedding I’ve ever attended–and, hopefully, not the last.
I loved parts of the wedding: the speeches that the two gentlemen gave during the reception/dinner thanking all of their friends and family for being there and being a part of it, and the speech of one of the best men, who talked about how important and courageous the two gentlemen’s relationship had been–they’ve been together for over twenty-one years, they’re an interracial couple that lived for a long time in the South, and of course marriage between two men was not legal in Washington until late last year, and didn’t have all the rights it does until very recently as a result of the overturning of DOMA. So, that was all excellent.
The food was also good. The spectacle of the dancing was also enjoyable; I wasn’t up to dancing myself, as the champagne from the toast had me feeling a bit dizzy (and it still does now, even though that was a few hours ago…which is why I don’t drink other than for certain religious occasions).
What was quite severely lacking, in my opinion, was the ceremony/service itself. It was presided by the same person who did this service, as well as this other occasion I’ve discussed before, who is a lesbian United Church of Christ minister. While she is nice, her ministerial style isn’t especially inspired or inspiring, and the whole of this particular service didn’t feel like it reflected the uniqueness of the two gentlemen getting married at all. It was, despite the momentousness of the occasion, the incomparability of the two having their relationship recognized and legally affirmed, and the historical nature of the event (i.e. the first fully legal same-sex marriage to take place in our town), just another wedding as far as the actual ceremony itself was concerned. And to me, that’s sad.
It got me thinking, and I suspect it got the deities with whom I am in a devotional relationship talking as well…we need to be able to do better and offer more than this on the occasions in the future (and I hope there are not only some, but MANY of those) in which people of whatever genders get married to their partner(s) of choice under the aegis of the Ekklesía Antínoou, and with the blessings of Antinous, Hadrian, and many other gods, heroes, and spiritual beings (e.g. ancestors and land spirits at very least…it felt very wrong to me that they were not included in this occasion, despite the ways in which both this land and their individual families were recognized and honored, but because of Christian monotheism they were not acknowledged as the support and the source of the two gentlemen’s good lives and fortunes).
I hope to put up a further page on this blog, with all of the diverse tabs above (and I know, there’s a lot of them!), that will advertise for the possibility of having one’s wedding–no matter what the genders involved happen to be–officiated by me, both as a representative of the Ekklesía Antínoou and of the gods I serve (including Antinous, Hadrian, Cú Chulainn, Artemis, and any number of others). While I may not get tons of people asking for that service, nonetheless I need to offer it, and have been meaning to do so ever since the laws in my state have changed. Now is the time, I think…
I’d be interested in hearing any of your thoughts on this matter in the comments below.