Posted by: aediculaantinoi | September 25, 2013

So Close; So Far Away…

I had hoped to write some new things of interest here today, but I’m feeling rather exhausted, and it might be better at the moment to try and get more sleep than it would be to type up something potentially incoherent and not-as-useful-as-it-could-have-been-otherwise…

In the meantime, though, I have a suggestion to pass on, which has already made the rounds and has been announced in various places (including on The Wild Hunt today): namely, Polytheism Without Borders. The need for this is obvious, and the work of those who have suggested it and now made it possible has been admirable.

Unfortunately, there’s an issue with the matter of being required to select a gender in order to join the forums, which the organizers are aware of now, and are trying to rectify. I’m glad they realize how important it is, and that they are trying to do something about it.

Until something is done about it, though, I cannot join. The Tetrad++ require of me that anything I do spirituality-wise be gender-inclusive, or else I cannot participate. I know that they’re doing the best they can with a system that they did not create and which they didn’t make the rules for, and that they are acknowledging that it is a problem and they’re trying to do something about it is far better than what has been done by a huge number of different pagan or polytheist groups all across the map. Nonetheless, the gods we serve are the gods we serve, and their requirements of me are more important to follow than any potential good that could come meanwhile in participating in even such a worthy endeavor as this. I cannot compromise on this matter, even if it’s just a “token” identification that then has no bearing on anything which follows. It saddens me in a way, but I’d be the biggest hypocrite and sham if I were to do otherwise until the situation gets adjusted. If it can’t get adjusted, then I’ll just have to be a cheerleader from the sidelines, which is also fine.

So, if you are of a binary gender, whether cis or trans, go and join up and have the blessings of the gods in doing so! 🙂


  1. […] project’s been mentioned on Twilight and Fire, Golden Trail, Grim’s Wolf, Aedicula Antinoi as well as a ton of reblogs, tweets and Facebook updates. Why you guys even made it on to The Wild […]

  2. Yes, I noticed that issue when I signed up. I’m a ciswoman, so it was an easy choice; but many of my dearest friends are not of a binary gender. I’m glad they’re working on it.

    • Indeed–it sort of surprised me, and when I left it blank initially and just tried to sign up without marking either option, it wouldn’t allow it. I went to see if I could write them a message about it, but there was one already from them on the main page, which was a great relief…

      I hope it does get fixed/altered/etc. soon.

  3. I’m so used to just picking one at random that I don’t even notice these things anymore…glad that your post made me look back and think about it.

  4. I so appreciate your kind words and thoughtful feedback on this important issue. At this point, is seems that the registration page is outside of the forum admin’s (that is, MY) control. Paying for an premium account won’t help, or I’d do so. I suggested it on the ProBoard support forum and they had already taken it as an enhancement request to either remove the option (of what use does it serve?) or at least have an ‘other’ choice, but who knows how long that might take to rectify.

    It is possible to remove all mention of the gender selection from the forum code and I have done so (even going so far as to remove the code, instead of commenting it out), but I understand that for some that is not enough.

    I feel frustrated that this issue is keeping you from participating when you would otherwise like to, though I greatly respect your reasons. I could offer to create an account for you, in which case you would never see or select the gender option and no one but me would ever know what it was… however I’m aware that this may be taken as insulting and that’s not my intent.

    I will continue pushing ProBoards on the issue.

    (Found my way here from your comment on Sannion’s blog)

    • Thanks for doing all this, Ivy.

    • Thank you for your excellent work and your virtuous efforts in this entire endeavor! You deserve a great deal of praise for what you’re doing!

      Your thoughts on creating an account for me are intriguing, but not quite “right” either–I’m not offended at all by the intentions behind them, but the net effect of them (assigning me a gender, even if it is “token” and not at all relevant to the proceedings) is not dissimilar to the entire problem of gender that I and the specific gods related to these issues are attempting to deal with generally, so it’s not something that they’re comfortable with at this point.

      I’ve learned in a rather immediate and sometimes difficult way over the last two years that oftentimes, devotional polytheism means having to say “no” even when things are really appealing and important.

      I greatly appreciate this communication with you, and meanwhile, if you find anything I’ve written here worthy of re-posting on the group blog, there’s no prohibitions on that end! 😉

      • I understand and very much respect your view on this.

        I’m asking all those affected by or who care about this topic to go to the forum thread on the enhancement request on the ProBoard support forum and politely ask that this issue be given priority for a fix. The link is on the Posting Guidelines thread and the Forum Issue blog post as well.

        Also, it is so kind of you to offer your own content to strengthen the community. In the spirit of our discussion, I’d love to reprint your article on gender diversity ( Your copyright will be listed as well as a link back to your site.

        Best regards,


      • Yes, that would be excellent! Please do so with my blessings! 🙂

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