Posted by: aediculaantinoi | January 8, 2014

Rooted in the Body, Seeking the Soul–Out Now!

I mentioned in my 2013 retrospective post that the following book is out; but, I just got my copy in the post today, so now I can announce it officially now that I’ve held it in my hands!

Rooted in the Body, Seeking the Soul: Magic Practitioners Living with Disabilities, Addiction, and Illness edited by Tara “Masery” Miller has an essay by me in it called “Antinous the Imperfect.” It talks about some rather personal aspects of my own journey as a multiply-disabled person and dealing with a deity who is superlatively beautiful and athletic…and yet, it has all worked out! It is also one of few pieces that I’ve written for anthologies, or any publications other than a few of my own, that includes a ritual, so it may be of interest to all of you for that reason as well, even if you might not feel that the overall subject matter of the book or my essay in it may be of use to you.

You can purchase the book here.

And, as mentioned on several previous occasions, Masery did an interview with me before the release of the book as well at the Staff of Asclepius blog at’s Pagan Channel, too!

Thank you to Masery, and to all of the contributors to this anthology, for your excellent work!


  1. Congratulations on being published! I truly enjoyed reading the interview you had with Ms. Masery. I learned a lot of Irish vs. Celtic vs. Christian modes of spirituality. If only Christianity had kept the sexy mythology…

    (I don’t have a relationship with Antinous, but sometimes I get a very gentle sense of him, as someone who is bi and yet cannot be out, that he knows(?) what I am feeling.)

    • I think you’re very much on to something with your own feelings and Antinous…of course, he’s “on our side” as whatever-variety-of-queer-person-each-of-us-happens-to-be, certainly; but, I suspect there’s more than a little sympathy on his part with “is bisexual but cannot be out.” Too often, it’s been assumed that he is gay, when in reality he was never old enough to have any relationships with women, and likely would have been just like everyone else at the time, i.e. essentially bisexual. I have always resented the erasure of the “not-gay”-ness in both Antinous and Hadrian’s lives by some factions of modern Antinoan devotees, not only because I’m not monosexual myself, but because I think it is just as disingenuous to homonormativize history as it is to heteronormativize it. Anyway…

      • Absolutely. Having to fit in one label is like a glass fence instead of a glass ceiling–you think you’d be welcomed in the community, but the door through is smaller than expected, and requires leaving a part of you outside/silent. That kind of erasure tends to leave me out cold.

        I think having a lack of preconceptions about Antinous allows me/e? to let the channel be open. Even if the lens I use to search him out is through the lens of my own sexual orientation. (Not to say there aren’t other deities that could welcome queer devotees. Antinous would be the first that seems friendly to me.)

  2. […] presence (at age 26), I was never as physically beautiful or fit as he was (which I’ve also written/published about). Not all deities have to be–nor can they be!–“all things to all people” in […]

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