I appreciate your respect; but please, if you do respect me, don’t call me “sir”; I am not and never have been a man.
I appreciate your solidarity; but please, if you do feel solidarity with me, don’t refer to me as your “brother”; solidarity is based on mutual respect, recognition, and truly seeing and appreciating another person’s existence, and if that does not include getting their gender correct, then it cannot be called true and actual solidarity.
I, P. Sufenas Virius Lupus, am a metagender person. This means that I am not of a conventional, binary gender–I’m third, or fifth, or ninth, or thirty-seventh gender; in the gender binary, I am a conscientious objector. I personally don’t believe that there are only two genders; in fact, humans have at least nine possible biological sexes, so why wouldn’t there be at least nine genders possible? But, five is too little…
Metagender is not “androgynous” or some combinatory gender (though those are totally cool!); metagender is not “neuter” or “neutral,” nor is it “non-gendered/agendered” or a negation of gender either (though those options are also totally cool!).
As an option for understanding these matters in relation to being metagendered, and more as a kind of rebus of both gender and sexual orientation, metagender can mean “I never met-a-gender I didn’t like.” ;)
As a result, my pronouns are different than the usual ones one might be used to with more conventional, binary genders. I prefer the Old Spivak pronouns, which run as follows:
subject: e (e.g. “E is a metagender person”; “E wrote a blog post”)
object: em (e.g. “I gave the book to em”)
possessive adjective: eir (e.g. “This is eir book”)
possessive pronoun: eirs (e.g. “The book is eirs”)
reflexive: emself (e.g. “E muttered to emself”)
For some further reading on metagender matters on the current blog, see the following links:
Gods, Magic, Myth, and Modernity
Gender and Sexual Orientation: Rarely the Twain Doth Meet…?!?
Paganism and Privilege: Visible and Invisible Privileges Discussed
Physicality and Trans-Ness
The Politics of “Manliness”
PantheaCon and Gender Matters
PantheaCon 2012: Transgender Inclusion/Exclusion
Justin Vivian Bond: You Are Awesome!